When you listen to people talk about their sexual lives, you're bound to hear crazy stories, here are the top six from therapists.
When talking about sex, you’ll often hear a lot of bizarre things that might keep you at night or some of the funniest stories that you’ve ever heard.
All that is cool for someone who is just having regular conversations about sex, now imagine what sexologists or sex therapists hear when they sit with people to discuss their sex lives.
To give you a view into what sex therapists hear and see, Kelly Burch from Prevention spoke to 6 therapists and here are their stories.
Getting freaky with Fido
“A woman called me to say that her husband wanted her to do something ‘unusual,’ but she couldn’t get the words out over the phone. All she could say was that she loved her husband and wanted to make him happy, but she didn’t know if she could fulfill his request. When she came into the office, she gave me a lot of background about who he was—a high level executive, a former star athlete, blah, blah, blah. After all of that, she finally blurted, ‘But he wants me to have sex with the family dog. I don’t have to do that, do I?’
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It wasn’t the first case concerning bestiality I had encountered, so that didn’t concern me as much as the fact that she didn’t know the answer, which, of course, is that nobody should ever do anything sexual that they don’t want to do! After talking this over, I’m happy to say that she came to her senses and realized that no matter how much her husband wheedled her, she had the right to say no to sex with Fido.”
— Stephanie Buehler, PsyD, psychologist and AASECT certified sex therapist
Last dance?
“A client in his 30s who worked overnight in a hospital came to me because he was having fantasies of women in the morgue that made him uncomfortable. When the video for Tom Petty’s ‘Last Dance With Mary Jane’ came out, he said it was like porn for him.
His fantasies became more intense and he was feeling like it was getting harder to not act on them. We did some work around the nature of the fantasies and addressing the feelings of compulsivity that were emerging, as well as some other psychodynamic work. But the obsessive thoughts and fantasies remained, as did his fear of acting on them.
I ultimately encouraged him to take the risk of sharing his fantasies with his girlfriend. She was a bit put off at first, but as they talked and shared more, she started to see it in a different light. I helped them set up fantasy scenarios that they would both enjoy, in a realm I never thought I would enter.
They ended up having a favorite fantasy that she enjoyed as much as him: It involved her lying in a bathtub of ice water for about 10 minutes, getting her skin cold and tight. She would then put on white makeup and lipstick, and lay down on a padded table, perfectly still.
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He would then come in as the ‘undertaker’s assistant,’ and I’m sure you can guess the rest… He stopped worrying about acting out his fantasies with real corpses anymore and their relationship went to new levels in how they communicated and explored fantasy play together.”
—Lawrence A. Siegel, AASECT clinical sexologist
Stick what, where?
“I am a sex therapist who specializes in working with clients who identify as kinky and non-monogamous. One popular, but taboo (even in some kink circles) practice is known as needle play. This literally involves one person piercing a partner with one or multiple needles. There are even pictures of people who will have someone make ‘needle corsets’ down their back.
Of course, if you’re interested in this type of play it’s important to learn about appropriate safety procedures.”
—Samantha Manewitz, licensed clinical social worker and certified sex therapist
Foot fetish gone too far
“I worked with a 40-something, heterosexual couple that initiated treatment because the male partner presented with a compulsive foot fetish in which he had great difficulty controlling his preoccupation with feet (usually his wife’s). At the peak intensity of his compulsive behavior, he became so aroused that during family movie night when his wife’s feet were ‘un-socked’ that he began to masturbate behind a pillow. In my world, compulsive sexuality is very commonplace, but it’s typically ridden with so much shame and guilt it is rare for someone to exhibit these behaviors in front of close family and friends.”
—Ashley N. Grinonneau-Denton, licensed marriage and family therapist and AASECT certified sex therapist
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Doing it doggy-style
“I knew a man who liked to dress up like a dog with his partner and act out a role play scenario with her being his master and he being a ‘good doggie.’ He also loved doing this at public events when appropriate and sex positive. He somehow found a girl very interested in this fetish. She had a lot of fun telling him to roll over and petting his tummy, I hear.”
—Angela Skurtu, MEd, licensed marriage and family therapist and AASECT certified sex therapist
Wasting the day away
“I’ve seen some men who watch 10 to 15 hours of pornography a day. This threw me for a loop, as I was wondering how in the heck do these people work and pay bills? It’s pretty unusual to be so addicted to porn that you spend that much time on it. These men weren’t functioning well at all and had a skewed sense of reality.”
— Debra Laino, MEd, psychologist, board-certified sexologist, and AASECT certified sexualitiy educator
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