In October, Chisom and I went on a vacation to St. Barth in the Caribbean. I kept checking the recording devices in the house about twice a week. They mostly picked up sounds from the kids, but sometimes I heard calls to or from Chisom, which I listened to very closely. At first, I was anxious about what I might hear, but as time passed, it became easier to stay calm, and I never heard anything that worried me.
I also looked through her purse and car a few times when she wasn’t there, hoping to find a burner phone, but I didn’t find anything. The calls on her regular phone, which I could see, were all normal.
Did these things mean Chisom wasn’t cheating on me again? Not necessarily. But having no proof was definitely better than having proof! And she knew exactly what was at risk. If, despite everything, she couldn’t stay faithful, our marriage would end.
We were feeling really connected on the plane to St. Barth, so I planned to give her a special gift when we arrived, something I’d been thinking about for a while. We checked in, changed clothes, and went straight to dinner at a beautiful restaurant with an open-air balcony overlooking the Caribbean. Chisom looked amazing in a new silk outfit, and not just me, but every other guy in the place couldn’t take their eyes off her.
At dinner, I really enjoyed just watching her. Her sparkling eyes, shiny hair, lovely arms, and the way she moved all seemed like a miracle to me. Being away from home made it easier for me to appreciate her.
“Baby, can I tell you something?” She asked.
I could tell from her tone that she was serious, so I just said, “Sure, what’s that?”
“Wow, this restaurant and the atmosphere are so nice. I hope you don’t mind if I lean over the table and –”
She leaned in close and said quietly, “I want to take you to the room and fuck you!”
I sat back, laughing. “Oh Chisom, language. Hmm, I’m going to let you go with just a warning this time, as long as you back up your words with actions.”
We quickly paid the bill and rushed out.
**********
The week in St. Barth was fantastic, and the intimacy was mostly great too. Kids can be exhausting for married couples, though they do bring rewards. While we were in St. Barth, we only had each other to focus on. We were away from anything that reminded us of our recent problems. The issues were still there, but they felt less important and less present.
We had sex almost every day, sometimes even twice a day. It was always enjoyable, and on two occasions, we were especially freaky (the warm weather and drinks probably played a part). More than just enjoying those intense moments, I was really happy and relieved that we could be so free and open with each other again.
When we flew home, we looked more tanned, felt more relaxed and happier, and were definitely more hopeful about our marriage. Chisom held my hand throughout the flight, and as we were almost landing, she softly asked, “Baby, do you think you’re ready to move back into our bedroom? I’d be so happy if you are!”
I smiled and nodded at her, and she gave me an excited kiss with tears on her cheeks. Thankfully, the rest of the year went on without any issues.
**********
Sometime early in the New Year, I saw that Chisom was acting differently and her attitude toward me had changed, even though it happened slowly.
She was always kind and caring, both before and after the affair. But since I found out about Chike, I noticed she seemed more cautious around me. She looked nervous, probably worried about my anger, but I think she also felt a lot of guilt and blamed herself.
Often, when we were together, she seemed like she was trying too hard to make things right and apologize. It felt a bit like dealing with an overly eager waiter. You just want to tell him to calm down, bring the food, and leave you alone without constantly asking if everything’s okay.
But this was happening less and less now. She seemed to trust that I wouldn’t leave just because we had a little argument. Her smiles were still warm, but her eyes looked less worried, and she seemed more relaxed.
I was glad about this, of course. I didn’t want to be married to someone who kept apologizing all the time, and I wouldn’t have been able to handle it for long. The point of our “new marriage” was to move beyond constant apologies and, eventually, find a better kind of happiness. Maybe Chisom’s change in attitude meant we were on our way to that.
**********
One evening in January, Chisom came into the bedroom and said, “Hey, can we go for a walk? I need to talk to you about a few things.”
She looked serious, and I said, “of course.”
While we were outside walking, she said, “I’ve been learning a lot in my therapy, and I felt it was time to share some of it with you.”
“Kunle, I want you to know that I’m not trying to make excuses. Cheating on you was wrong, and I did it, and I really regret it. But I’m starting to understand why I did it.”
I just said, “Okay,” because I didn’t want to interrupt her.
“Well,” she said, “A lot of it is because of my parents.”
I already knew quite a bit about Chisom’s parents. They had a really bad marriage for years. Her dad was always cheating, always with a new girlfriend or having one-night stands. At one point, he even moved out to live with a girlfriend. When that didn’t work out, he moved back home without saying sorry.
Chisom and her mother were both deeply hurt by his cheating and his disregard for their feelings. I couldn’t understand why her mother put up with him instead of leaving him.
Over time, things changed. As he got older, her father settled down, stopped flirting with other women, and became a more loving and dependable husband. This happened after Chisom moved out of the house. Since then, their marriage has become much stronger, and now they’re great-grandparents to our kids.
I’ve been talking a lot with my therapist about my parent’s marriage and my dad’s cheating. Like most kids, the only marriage I really knew about was my parents, so it shaped my idea of what marriage was supposed to be.
“I realize now that, even though I loved and trusted you, Kunle, I secretly feared getting hurt and cheated on, just like my mother did. I was scared to fully commit to our life together because it would have hurt too much if you had let me down.”
“Of course, you never did. You were never anything like my father when I was a kid. But I always had that fear in my mind.”
“I’m not trying to make excuses, but my cheating was really about my own fear of fully committing to our relationship and trusting you completely. Maybe the reason it didn’t happen earlier is that I love you so much and felt like I could trust you. But deep down, I always worried that you might betray me or let me down, even if I didn’t fully realize it.”
“There’s one more strange thing I need to mention. Even though I never wanted this to happen, my actions ended up causing you to be unfaithful to me. The thing I feared most actually came true. Because I was afraid you’d betray me, I did something really messed up, which led to you being unfaithful, even though it was my actions that pushed you to it. Understanding these things has really helped me. I’ve been calmer and I feel slightly better.”
“I noticed that,” I said. “I’m not sure when it started, maybe a few weeks ago, but you seem more relaxed when we’re together, and it’s been great.” I smiled at her. “I’m glad therapy is helping. What you said about your parents’ marriage makes sense.
She suddenly stopped walking and looked straight into my eyes. “I’m really sorry, Kunle,” she said seriously.
“Yes, I know, Chisom,” I said just as seriously. After a moment, I smiled at her, and we kept walking.
**********
Sometime in March, I started feeling uneasy. I’m not sure what triggered it, whether something happened or I just picked up on a bad vibe, but I began to sense that Chisom might be cheating.
I thought we were doing well. I felt better about our marriage, and she seemed happy that we were closer. Her therapy was helping her. So, why did I start to suspect?
I used to check the hidden recorders in the house about twice a week. Now, I checked them every other day. I put a recorder back in the spare tire compartment of Chisom’s car, hid a listening device under the front seat, and put another one in her purse. I checked these every day.
I started paying closer attention when she talked about her workday, looking for anything that didn’t add up. Sometimes, I called her office, and if she wasn’t there, I would casually ask her at dinner what she was doing when I called.
Despite all the new doubts, worries, and checking, I found nothing wrong with my wife’s behaviour. But as one of my thesis supervisor used to say, “Just because you don’t find evidence doesn’t mean there’s nothing there.”
I knew that Chisom had been cheating on me with Chike for eight months without me realizing. I was more suspicious now, but that didn’t mean she wasn’t being extra careful.
I stayed on high alert for about a week, then things started to get better. I began checking the recorders less often and stopped asking Chisom so many questions. I relaxed a bit. My worries didn’t go away completely, but I was starting to trust my wife again.
**********
The next weekend morning, I got out of bed early, put on some comfy clothes, and went outside to enjoy the cool air and the soft light of early dawn. I had been thinking about us renewing our vows to start fresh. I sat on the porch and thought about what I wanted to say to Chisom.
As I was thinking, the door opened, and then Chisom came over, hugged me, kissed the top of my head, and whispered “Good morning, baby” in my ear.
I pulled her onto my lap and she cuddled up to my neck. We gently rocked back and forth for a few minutes, enjoying the peace and each other’s company.
“Is today the day?” she asked me.
I stared at her in surprise and asked, “For what?”
She looked straight at me and said, “I know you have something you want to talk to me about.” She seemed to enjoy my surprised reaction, my mouth was probably hanging open. She went on, “I’ve noticed you’ve been deep in thought and distracted lately. I think you’ll tell me what’s on your mind when you’re ready.”
I just laughed and shook my head at how sensitive and intuitive my wife is. I had always appreciated these qualities in her, but they seemed to disappear for a while during her affair.
“You’re really something, you know? I do have something to say, and now’s the time. Let’s go inside and talk.”
We went inside our bedroom and both settled on a couch.
“Chisom, I want to say this: This past year has been the toughest time in our marriage. But we’re still here, and we’ll get through it. Next year will be better, and the year after that will be even better.”
“We’ve been through a lot together. I recently broke up with Anita, and I think it’s time for us to renew our vows. I want you by my side for the rest of my life. Let’s start fresh.”
I stopped talking. She was in tears and couldn’t say anything. Instead, we hugged. She wrapped her arms around my shoulders and let her hands hang behind me, showing that she was completely open and committed to me. It was a gesture from our past that I cherished.
I suddenly had tears in my eyes, and she noticed them after a minute when she pulled back a bit and looked at me.
“I love you, Kunle Macaulay,” she said.
“I love you, Mrs. Macaulay,” I replied.
*********
This series is dedicated to married couples going through a similar situation in their marriages and I tried to best capture the reality of many married couples herein. Let us all be reminded that in the journey of life, it’s important to remember that we are all human and bound to make mistakes. Our actions, whether intentional or not, can deeply affect others and lead to unforeseen consequences. The story reminds us that even in our moments of sorrow and regret, the true path to healing and lasting relationships lies in understanding and forgiveness.
When we acknowledge our imperfections and embrace the imperfections of those around us, we create a space where genuine connections can flourish. Forgiveness is not just a gift we give to others; it’s a gift we give to ourselves, allowing us to move forward with a heart unburdened by resentment.
Let us cherish the moments of reconciliation and strive to act with kindness and empathy, knowing that every step toward understanding and forgiveness strengthens the bonds that tie us together. In doing so, we build relationships that endure and grow, even through the trials and tribulations of life. God bless us all.
THE END
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