I need a favour. I’m sure you get these requests from associates, relatives, girlfriends (and boyfriends, of course) beggars, neighbours (in my case, landlords), gold diggers, phishers, scammers, and list goes on and on. Point is, at some junctions of your wanderings through this earth, you’d meet people who you’d ask for a favour and vice versa. Some people love having things done for them, some people enjoy doing them, and others avoid them like a polythene bag of human dumps.
Somebody, somewhere, once said that a favour will kill you faster than a bullet (likely with a few bullets lodged in them already). Well, he was right. A favour is a very particular kind of request that means different things to different people. I’m curious as to what in God’s name a favour (or a request, whatever you like to call it) means to you.
I have an army. People who I know would fight with me if Al Qaeda shows up on my door? Not because I am the United States of Jevi, but because I put my neck, however feeble, on the line for my friends. That’s why I chose to have few; wisdom here folks, wisdom. Just saying. Okay, moving on.
When someone says they need a “favour,” I don’t think of helping them on moving day or lending them my shoe polish. I see favour as a quasi-business transaction, one that requires a repayment of capital and some interest. It doesn’t have to always involve money to receive a repayment of capital, but I do expect something in return — and a premium for rendering my services. In my case, people usually know what I expect in return, so it never comes as a surprise to anyone when I ask for my premium. Simple.
Why a premium? If I have to do something that involves getting out of my chair to accommodate someone, I should get something back for my time and effort. It’s that simple. If a friend of yours lends you ₦1500 for a Zing Kong Box, you don’t give her back ₦1500, you give her back ₦2000. It is a repayment and a “thank you” for bailing you out of an almost embarrassing situation where the stacked waitress would’ve thought you were a penniless bum.
Now, this does two things:
- You pay your debt and you reduce any bad will that is generated when debts are owed.
- It shows that you’re a classy person. Don’t underestimate the power of class.
That established, I must leave you with a few notes:
There is no such thing as an unreturned favour. Not only are favours returned, they should be repaid with a premium. If I cover your ass at work when you go down the alley to smoke a joint, you shouldn’t only cover my ass when use the company car to “block” a chick kilometres away, but you should buy me a drink also. Okay, that’s a bit far-fetched, but you’re starting to get the picture? Good.
When asking for a favour yourself, remember the “premium.” A favour should be a fraction of what’s expected of you in return. If you can’t fulfil your obligation, don’t ask for one.
If someone does you a favour and you don’t repay it, don’t think that time makes the favour expire. It doesn’t for me. It shouldn’t for you, either. Even things that were done for me when I was 14 years old, I remember and make sure to repay. Don’t be a fool and assume time makes people forget; it just makes them angrier.
Lastly before I leave you for I’ve got meetings to chair: Don’t carry a favour around like a 120kg monkey on your buttocks. Cash your chips while the casino is still open. Return the favour at the very first opportunity you have. You’ll love saying “we’re even.”
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