December 19, 2024

Crazy Lenny: The Birthday Orgy (18+)

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Crazy Lenny: The Birthday Orgy (18+)

“Really? A birthday party? At our age?” Tiwa asked, sounding displeased. “Kike, you’re finally going to be 21! It’s not the time for a children’s party. It’s time to go out clubbing! You’ll finally be of legal age to party”

“I know, Tiwa. But the club will still be there the week after. And my Aunt Tolani specifically said she wanted to host my eighteenth birthday party. She’s coming all the way from Ghana to do it, you know.”

“I know, I know,” Tiwa asserted. “And I know how important she’s been in your life since your parents’ death. That car crash was tragic, and you’re lucky that your aunt stepped in to make sure you were cared for and educated.” She was gradually sounding more resigned to the concept of making Kike’s Aunt Tolani happy, as she reflected on Kike’s life.

Kike nodded, the sting of her parent’s death 6 years ago still brings a tear to her eye.

“But Aunt Tolani was there for me, every step of the way. As my only living relative, she took charge, whether, from a sense of obligation, or familial love, I was never sure. She came from Ghana then, as well, and actually treated me like a young adult, soliciting my input. Together, we deemed it impractical for me to go live with her in Accra, although I hope to travel there and see it sometime soon. She arranged for me to live at that exclusive boarding school for my care and education, where I met you and my other dear friends.”

Tiwa smiled, remembering those early school days, and how they bonded. She also remembered the few times that Aunt Tolani had appeared at the boarding school, making sure her niece was happy and doing well. The dear old woman seemed rather decorous and bizarre, but it was obvious she had a good heart. Kike’s friends privately referred to her as a ‘dear old thing’ but they never say that directly to Kike. Why, the woman must be 40, if she’s a day!

“I didn’t tell you this, but Aunt Tolani also said she’ll pay for anything I need at university, although my scholarship will help a lot with the tuition part,” Kike shared.

“Wow! That’s great!” Tiwa said, impressed. “She’s sure a nice person.” Tiwa’s body language changed. “OK. OK. I’ll be at your birthday party. Who else is coming?” Tiwa prayed the party wouldn’t be too lame, but at least if there were enough friends, they might be able to salvage something fun from it.

“Most of our friends from school said they’ll be there. Maybe fourteen or fifteen of us,” Kike answered, smiling. “It’ll be great to see them all again.”

“Where’s the party going to be held?” Tiwa asked.

“Aunt Tolani has some good friends in the next town. Apparently, they’re off and have invited my aunt to use their home as long as she wishes. Aunt Tolani plans to have the party all set up by the time we arrive – food, decorations, the works.” Kike paused, clearing her throat, signaling perhaps something disturbing.

“Remember, though, the Ghanaian sort of life in a different era when it comes to entertainment. Their pop music is a decade or two behind ours as well, I fear. “

Tiwa shrugged. “Well, we’ll just have to make the most of it. After all, how bad could it be?”

The day of the party arrived. It was bad, indeed.

Kike and her friends felt really silly, wearing the ‘party hats’ that Aunt Tolani handed out – they hadn’t worn such things since they were about eleven. And noisemakers? Really? These silly little horns to blow, or the ones that uncoiled as you blew into them – did this woman think they were children? The wine was non-alcoholic, the letters on a string that spelled out ‘HAPPY BIRTHDAY’ were flashy.

And the music – oh my god, the music! Did the Ghanaians still like high life? Still, every single friend knew Aunt Tolani’s importance in Kike’s life. And she was a dear lady, so they were on their best behavior, pretending to have fun. If they glanced at their watches, wondering when it would be polite to leave, they did it with concealment. They figured they had to remain at least until the cake was cut and served. What a bore!

They made a brave attempt to chatter lively – catching up about things that’d happened since they were last together. But mostly about their times together at school. At least those were fond memories. At one point, Tiwa whispered to Kike, “We’re running out of things to talk about. When can we cut your cake?”

“I’m afraid we have to wait for the clown Aunt Tolani hired for the party,” Kike whispered back, trying not to sound embarrassed, and failing. “She said we had to wait for the arrival of Mr. Coconuts.”

Tiwa’s eyes bulged, as she hissed, “What? We’re waiting for a clown? Oh my god. Oh my god. Will we have to put up with balloon animals? Laughing at stupid pranks? “

“I know,” she said quietly. “I may never live this down. But please, please, try to hold it together. It’s only one evening.” Her dear friend nodded sadly. The two of them quietly shared the fact about the clown with the rest of their friends, so no one would act shocked when he finally arrived. The most common reaction, upon hearing the news, was an eye roll, and a softly whispered, “Whatever… that seems to fit the theme of this party, all right.”

Aunt Tolani was trying to be the perfect Hostess, chatting, making sure Kike’s friends had refills of the drink, and so on. Finally, the doorbell rang. “That should be Mr. Coconuts!” Aunt Tolani exclaimed happily, even clapping her hands together with joy. “I’ll help him get ready. Prepare yourselves for a real treat!” She left the room.

The young women quickly huddled. Oluchi spoke for the others. “Kike, we all love you, and we love your Aunt Tolani. We also really wish you a happy birthday. But… but…” She actually didn’t know what to say, she realized.

Kike smiled sadly. “I understand. I can’t figure out if Aunt Tolani thinks we’re still twelve, or maybe she has the happiest memories of her early birthdays, and she’s trying to relive them, or what. I appreciate how you’re all hanging in there, and being gracious, and polite to her. Tiwa and I are already making plans to go clubbing next week. You can all join us then if you want. But let’s grit our teeth a little longer, and try to keep Aunt Tolani happy. OK?” They all nodded.

After perhaps ten minutes, the high life music was replaced with a soundtrack that started with what sounded like the horn section of a band, interspersed with whistles. After that intro, the young women recognized that it was another ‘old’ song, as Onyeka Onyewu started singing ‘African Lady’ – at least this music had a dance beat to it.

Aunt Tolani re-entered the room, and jaws dropped as Kike and her friends saw that she was leading a man on a leash! And what a man! He was a large, muscular man, at least six and a half feet tall! Moreover, he was completely naked, except for a red clown nose, and the dog collar around his neck.

“Ladies, meet Mr. Coconuts,” Aunt Tolani announced. She got a rather sexy smile on her face as she used one hand to lift his enormous, fully erect cock slightly up toward the ceiling, so her other hand could partially cradle his over-sized testicles in her palm. “I think you can tell why he’s called ‘Mr. Coconuts’ now. As you youngsters say – let’s get this party started!”

Some of Kike’s friends hadn’t been facing the right direction to see that entrance. When they casually turned, they did a classic double-take with their necks moving so fast that they almost fell over. A few of the others rubbed their eyes in disbelief. Some tried to pretend they weren’t staring at his crotch, which made each darting glance that they took all the more obvious. Other than the blaring music, there wasn’t another sound – not a peep from the party-goers, whose faces could have been used for a ‘shock and awe’ illustration for a dictionary.

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Written by
Dr. Deolu Oniranu-Bubble

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